Showing posts with label literary junkie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label literary junkie. Show all posts

Thursday, July 17, 2025

On being predictable

I like being unpredictable. A dark horse. A black sheep. A wildcard. By which I mean my opinions are sometimes an unusual shape, and that shape is well-formed and I like it that way. But when I ask you who you think my favourite poets are (which I know you ask yourself all the time, right), I am being rhetorical. Now my horse is a soft grey and my sheep a very dirty white. 

I want to couch these names in a paragraph so you don't inadvertently read them. But you did anyway, didn't you? I own both the single and complete editions of Sylvia Plath's poetry and her only novel The Bell Jar. And the only poems whose lines I know by heart (my memory is probably more woolly than my sheep) are Emily Dickinson's: "Because I could not stop for Death / He kindly stopped for me / The carriage held but just ourselves / And immortality..."

I discovered Dickinson first, as a hardcover Christmas gift, the corners of the pages of which are now dirty with thumb prints. I opened the book (then probably smelled the pages) and fell into step with her poems. "Tell the Truth but tell it slant / Success in Circuit lies / Too bright for our infirm Delight / The Truth's superb surprise." 

Later, in Grade 11, we were assigned to collect different works (prose, poetry, biography, etc.) around a theme of our choice (copyright be damned). I decided to choose works and then find the theme that tied them together (which, yes, means I couldn't think of anything). So I did as asked and, upon reviewing the texts to try to find my theme, found that every piece I had chosen was written by a woman and most were about some aspect of the female experience.

And that was how I discovered Sylvia Plath. I can't remember the exact poem I chose, but her poem Stillborn describes my current frustration with my creative process: "These poems do not live: it's a sad diagnosis. / They grew their toes and fingers well enough, / Their little foreheads bulged in concentration."

Reeling, I tripped over Virginia Woolf and her essay A Room of One's Own. (Remember that I'm a dinosaur and this was before the ubiquity of the internet, so all this research was done, like, in a library and *gasp* by hand.) I lifted the opening paragraph of the text, without (I confess) reading the entire essay: "All I could do was to offer you an opinion upon one minor point -- a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved."

A few years later, I spent a few wintry afternoons reclining in the sun, lost in a paperback of The Waves (which smelled like all books should smell), which was up until then the greatest novel I had ever read. Dickinson mastered stream of consciousness, using it to erode boundaries without losing clarity -- I'm thinking of characters here, because characters were all I cared about back then; plot be damned! 

So, what's predictable about these writers, you ask, predictably? 

What's predictable is that these poets and writers have been adopted ad nauseum to illustrate the feminist cause. They've been held up as examples that women are worthy, as successful women in a 'man's world' -- which almost immediately became a women's world! (Writing poetry and novels was seen as a 'man's work' until the early twentieth century when women authors 'corrupted' the profession, feminising it.) 

We adopted them and their work until they became passe and ignoring them became an equally feminist action. Now, being a lover of the works of Dickinson, Woolf and Plath is a phase you go through, like dying your hair some outrageous colour or ... being a feminist. 

In this, I'm prepared to be predictable, my livestock (to stretch the metaphor to its breaking point like a frayed elastic band) the purest white. 

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Confessing my first crime

Once upon a time, I thought that not finishing a book you had started was a crime. A social crime on par with stealing, only justified in the most dire of circumstances. Who leaves a story stranded like that? I wondered. What kind of degenerate abandons characters they haven't even met yet?! 

(You probably think I am exaggerating, and I understand that, but I am not. I still do not fully trust People Who Do Not Finish Books On the Regular.) 

I ploughed through Michel Houellebecq's Atomised on this principle -- come to think of it, that may have been the book that broke me (go read some of the reviews and you'll see what I mean. Whatever you do, do not read it.). A short time later, I picked up a book by Richard Powers, the first pages of which had the vaguest scent of Houellbecq's horrifying imagination, and I noped right out of that first chapter. 

So it began.

Next was The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton, which I just kind of forgot to continue reading. I was about a quarter of the way through and then I started reading something else, with the intention of coming back to it, and I just never did. This was more a case of neglect than abandonment, but that's still a crime.

Since then, there have been many -- oh so many -- books that I have cracked open and left cracked, with no intention of ever trying to undo my crime, and a small contingent that I plan to visit again. I'm making my way through Hilary Mantel's The Mirror and the Light again (although I confess to taking a quick break to read The Wild Things).

Two of Roberto Bolano's books -- 2666 and The Savage Detectives -- have fallen victim to my Houellebecq-inspired crime spree, as well as The Biographer's Tale by AS Byatt, The Golden House by Salman Rushdie, Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer, Save Me the Waltz by Zelda Fitzgerald, The Birds Fall Down by Rebecca West and the second book in the Last Policeman series.

All, according to the critics, good books, but not enough to hold my attention. See, I'm an editor, which means I spend the whole day reading and rereading content, focusing on words and phrases to try to make them as functional as possible. After a solid eight or ten hours of this, it's hard to get out of that mindset. Truly great books lull that part of my brain to sleep, but good or almost great books leave room for that part of my brain to kick.

So, in the meantime, I have reread a few books, looking for that feeling you get when you read a truly beautiful book. I'm a literary junkie looking for a fix. And finding it in works like The People's Act of Love by James Meek, Marissa Pessl's Special Topics in Calamity Physics and Night Film, Margaret Atwood's MaddAdam trilogy, and most recently, Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell.

Do not judge a book by its movie, folks. Even on a second reading, Cloud Atlas is the kind of book I wish I could write, but since I can't, I'll just read it over and over again, finding something new each time.

I am confessing my crime partly because I hope to stop doing it. But, really, I'm just assuaging my guilty conscience so I can sin anew.

Cloud Atlas